A note from me plus recs: Alexa Chung's striped shirt, giving up wifi, profiting from love & pruning our kids.
An update for DD subscribers plus the things I've consumed and worn.
I feel as though I have been chasing my tail since I returned from our family vacation. I think I have been procrastinating about what to share with you on this humble platform of mine. I keep saying this is a “hobby” that is a “creative outlet”, somewhere to house my many thoughts and observations on modern motherhood, style and womanhood. But the truth is, I have been avoiding the glaringly obvious fact that this is work. That just because I love writing. I am a trained writer (with the HECs debt to prove it) and I adore this community, it does not take away from the countless hours I spend putting together not only my personal essays, but researching and interviewing others then chasing up said interviews, taking and sourcing images, searching for links to pieces I think you will like as much as I do, subediting and editing my own work then dying a little inside each time I find an error. And then there’s also the running the Instagram – making memes, replying to dms, and managing a community of almost 5000. I have done and continue to do all of this because there was nothing I related to as a mum. I found most of the motherhood-sphere to be pink and drab and screaming at me change or to buy something I don’t need, and that is simply not how it should be. I believed we deserved better. And funnily enough, thousands of you who read this newsletter believe this, too.
I don’t want to let you down and I think we can all agree that I am finding it hard to stay consistent. Consistency with a hobby that I have tried to keep a hobby but is so much more, is difficult. Especially when you are the primary parent who also has a paid job. Neither of which I can completely switch-off from.
Now, of course there‘s also a glaringly obvious question as to why I have not taken on advertisers, and the answer is pretty simple – sure, it would be easy for me to say yes to any brand that approached me to push their product, to have sponsors and advertisers but I don’t want my recs to be diluted or to have an agenda other than I love this and I think you will too. I will be partnering with a few brands who I already use, and believe in but apart from a select few, I’d like to keep this space free from ads.
So, with all that said, I wanted to say thank you to my existing paying subscribers who are currently shouting me a coffee once a month (Lord knows, I run off caffeine and rat snacks) and to let you all know that I will be placing most of my posts behind a paywall. I won’t be putting up the price (and here’s a special discount too!) but I am asking that if you do enjoy my perspective on both style and womanhood, and want to support my work as a writer then please consider upgrading your subscription.
So, what’s coming to paid subscribers? More stories and interviews on identity, style and womanhood, a holy grail spreadsheet with all the best products as shared and raved about in the group chat (think both functional and aesthetically pleasing mum stuff, kid stuff and fashion staples), plus first dibs on a merch drop which I’m very excited about! There is so much to share and to say, and all will unfold overtime.
Now, onto some recs …
READ –
Life Really Is Better Without the Internet. By Chris Moody, The Atlantic.
Prior to becoming a parent, we all vow to be present. We tell ourselves lies like “we would never look at our phones at the dinner table”, and that nothing is more important than being in the moment with our darling children – except of course… this email. This is exactly how this essay begins, and as Chris shares overtime, and many wasted hours of scrolling, he and his wife decided to get a landline and have a wifi-free home (terrifying, I know). An enjoyable read that did make me consider my own screen time but it didn’t convince me to try it ha. Interesting none-the-less!
The problem with 'I love my girlfriend' content. By Laura Pitcher, I-D Mag.
I read a lot of Laura Pitcher’s work and enjoy the critical eye she casts on internet culture. This piece looks into the relationship trend of men (mostly heterosexual) participating in acts of service while the camera is rolling, and the idea of profiting from being in a relationship. “But did he do it because he loves her or because the audience needs more love?”A Fascinating New Look at Carolyn Bessette Kennedy
I have shared a few pieces from Amy’s Substack, The Back Row and for good reason. Here she chats with fashion creative director Sunita Kumar Nair about her new book, Carolyn Bessette Kennedy A Life In Fashion (which you can preorder and I will be asking Santa for!). A book that Amy describes as “a book that pays homage to both Carolyn’s style, but also to the fashion-person side of her that gets lost in her legacy.” A great read and insight into Carolyn’s life and career and her iconic personal style (uncomplicated, wearable, real) that is constantly referenced and replicated today.
LISTEN –
Lena Dunham’s mea culpas. Shameless Podcast.
Love or loathe her, Lena Dunham is undeniably intriguing, and in part one, hosts Mich and Zara do a juicy deep dive into how Lena landed a deal for a blind script when she was still unknown, the controversy of her nakedness in Girls and her response to the lack of diversity of the characters in the hit series, as well as the controversy over the essays written about her childhood experiences involving her sibling, Cyrus. Note: I also binged part two.
WATCH –
How to raise successful kids without over-parenting. Julie Lythcott-Haims x TED.
I try not to consume much parenting content but I came across a snippet of Julie’s talk on Instagram and her words comparing modern parenting to pruning a Bonsai to perfection. Her words really stuck in my head, enough to google her and find her 14 minute TED Talk. Granted, she is speaking of the American College System but this could very well be applied to any country and the pressure we so often put on our kids and the way we want to fix or find a solution for them rather than just letting them find their own way and letting them know they are loved regardless of their grades or career choices or piano skills. “My kids aren’t Bonsai trees, they’re wildflowers…”
WHAT I BOUGHT –
This silk cami and pants set that is still on sale. I bought this for no particular reason but after trying it on I think it’s perfect for a Christmas lunch. I may indulge in this clutch too which is a little festive and to add some texture to my outfit. #tistheseason
I also bought this black and white striped shirt after seeing Alexa Chung wearing a nearly identical Khaite shirt in a festive season campaign for Matches Fashion. It was a shirt I had been ruminating on for months and it was 50% off (I got the size L/XL for an oversized fit).
These pants are technically tights but they are buttery soft, and when worn with kitten heels and a long poplin shirt (blazer and oversized knit would also work) they are giving a bit of High Sport energy. For the days you’re running from drop-off, to work to pilates back to work and to school pick-up. I took my regular size but if you are sporting a bump then size up. Use the code FF30 for 30% discount.
This last outfit is just really to show you it’s not all glam, somedays I do just wear loose jeans and tees, and don’t really consider anything past comfort. Although the crochet neckline on this particular tee is lovely as is its linen fabrication so I thought it was worth a share! I know there is a trend of ‘wearing’ your clothes VS ‘styling’ your clothes but I prefer a less is more approach. I don’t believe you always need to add layers or accessories if you don’t want to, sometimes a basic, unbothered approach can be just plain and perfect.
Jade x
P.S. Hopefully getting a new iPhone soon so my mediocre photos will at least be less grainy!
Just upgraded - you're my first paid subscription on Substack! Happy to support your work and excited to read more.