Daycare sickness PTSD, Meg Strachan on the early years of motherhood & Dorsey, reclaiming your personal style, a celebration of mumsiness, and boyfriend blazers.

Coming to terms with the juggle and an edit of good fashion-y things.

It started on the long weekend. Rosy red cheeks and high temperatures nudging dangerously close to 40 degrees. Freddie was sick. Then relief when our doctor found the cause; “A slight ear infection.” He explained as he reached for his large jar, filled with snake lollies he had on display in his office. Fred’s eyes fix on the lollies as soon as we entered. I’m not sure if it is out of ease or strategy that he displays them on his desk. He does have five children of his own so I assume the latter. He gave me a script for antibiotics to fill only if Freddie went downhill. Luckily he seemed to improve and the night wakings ceased (for now).

That week, Fred was off daycare two out of the three days. Another week goes by and he is healthy, nothing more than a running nose but this weekend it started again. I was stripping him down and syringing ibuprofen into his mouth at midnight to cool him down. My weekend was spent caring for him and not much else. He perked up and I sent him to daycare for a couple of days until he went down hill yet again. I could feel my anxiety rise faster than his fever. Winter is coming, I thought. The PTSD of having a constantly sick child (which I wrote about for Vogue, here) last year was starting to surface.

For the most part, the care of our son, falls on me. Another week of multitasking on top of multitasking (are there any other weeks?) work and childcare, and everything else just goes out the window. I am lucky, I have the flexibility of working within my husband’s business, though the work does not cease nor do the deadlines, my paid work hours are now at night rather than the 9-5. I have tried and failed many times to work with Freddie at home before. He’s chattering away to me now as I type, and he eats his dinner. And I guess I’ve come to the conclusion that this will always be. That motherhood and career can and do happen simultaneously and though the juggle is hard, and at times impossible, for me, without the ying of motherhood and the yang of career, I will never feel whole – mind you, I think this realisation has come in tandem with a week of me committing to taking care of myself which feels like a radical act. I locked my gym classes into my husband’s schedule with a non-negotiable disclaimer, committed to the meeting I had booked with my mentor, added a celery juice instead of another coffee, created a hair-wash-day ritual (lol), and wore clothing that made me feel good – this newsletter is delayed, yes, and I am annoyed at myself for that but, something has to give and if there’s a lesson in this it is to be disciplined when it comes to putting yourself (as in your health both physical and mental health) first, full-stop. Everything and everyone around you will benefit, especially our children.

The cold weather is well and truly on its way, and with all the juggling, daycare bugs and Euro summer posts (muting friends who are travelling for the next three-months is self-care ha); we will survive.

Here are a few things that made me feel good this week…

READ –

What a Vogue editor learned about dressing "mumsy" By Annie L Brown for Vogue.com.au

This article was published a couple of months ago but it feels so relevant as I dip my toe back into fashion (three years on!), and disliking a lot of my photos with Fred during my early days as I’m mainly wearing stretchy pants covered in milk stains. Annie, recounts how she felt she lost her style during the early days of motherhood and explains how mumsiness has a place in our style evolution. “Like most things in parenting, it will mean something different to us all, but in my mind it's something that you bought because you thought it would be practical, or because it seemed like something you 'should' wear or something you blearily grabbed in the early hours. All of which is fine. But I also think mumsiness needs to be reclaimed as part of the style evolution that comes as you reconfigure your identity again.” A good read for anyone in the haziness of new motherhood.

Motherhood threw my style a curveball, here’s how I got it back By Alison Izzo for Vogue.com.au

On the topic of personal style, Alison Izzo (a dear friend of Dear Dilate), wrote a piece on losing and reclaiming her style. She’s the ex-editor of Body & Soul, a mag girlie and she was even a fashion editor – goes to show that even the most stylish amoung us, do not go unscathed when it comes to losing parts of us, including personal style when it comes to the depths of motherhood. “Some women seem to breeze through life’s biggest evolutions without a discernible shift in their style—and truthfully? I felt embarrassed that I’d been so knocked off course by such predictable life milestones.”

LISTEN –

Second Life Podcast with Meg Strachan: Dorsey Founder and CEO

Meg Strachan is the very chic and clever founder of lab-grown, vintage inspired jewellery brand, Dorsey. I’ve linked to her divine tennis necklaces before (it’s the Moss for me) before. Since I came across Meg on Instagram then her Substack

Megan’s Substack

, I have been obsessed with both her style and her snippets of the the push and pull of motherhood, and building a fast-growing business from the ground-up. In this episode she shares how her career led her to starting Dorsey, her not-so-straightforward journey to motherhood, the realities of trying to learn how to grow a new business and learning how to be a new mum – and doesn’t sugarcoat anything.

SHOP –
A good boyfriend blazer edit

The only pic I took of myself in my blazer today at my nephew’s party.

This week I asked for shopping requests and as I kicked off a couple of Dear Dilate LTK Edits with Mesh Flats under $500 (thank me later) and great jeans that aren’t too tight or too baggy. The latest edit is all about the blazer which I think is an easy way to make just about any outfit look great. A good blazer is a timeless investment, and an oversized one can be worn no matter if you are pre, during or post pregnancy so when in doubt, size up. Here, I’m wearing a Country Road blazer, that I bought a year or two ago which I did indeed size up. I wore it today with a fresh white tee from Uniqlo, my Levi’s 501’s (exact colour is 30% off at the iconic) and Veja white sneakers – I want to also remind you that you don’t need to build an entire new wardrobe every season, wear your favourite pieces on repeat and update when necessary.

Any request? leave a comment below.

Jade x