Alison Izzo on dividing and conquering, cutting yourself some slack and the importance of female friends.

A coffee and chat with Alison Izzo, strategist, writer/editor and mother of two.

HSDI is an interview series featuring mothers within the DD community. Here, we examine the juggle of paid working mothers – we talk motherhood, career, routine, self-care and daycare. I ask the things you actually want to know, like what they outsource, why they work, how they work, keep it together and get out the door each morning.

How would you describe what season or stage you’re in at the moment?
I've got two kids, a daughter who's nearly five and a son who's two. I feel like I'm definitely still 'in the weeds', as they say - but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the toddler tunnel as my son starts to become more independent. My kids both still need me physically quite a bit. Some days I truly wonder if I can be pulled in any more directions - both physically and emotionally - but other days I feel like I'm getting back pockets of time for myself and can see them growing into these incredible, hilarious and totally unique humans that I am just lucky to hang out with. But I'm not there quite yet! I regularly leave the house only to find yoghurt or avocado stains on the back of my shoulder or hem of my skirt.

Can you start by sharing a bit about your family dynamic?
I live with my husband and two small kids in an Art Deco but not-so-recently renovated semi in Bondi Beach. We moved here from Paddington to be closer to the beach five years ago. Since relocating, we've really embraced the full cliché of living in Bondi - beach swims before work, weekends circling the North Bondi kiddy pool, queuing for hours (it seems) for an iced latte from Speedos on a busy Saturday morning. My husband's a lawyer, and I've recently gone freelance as a writer, podcaster and brand consultant. But for the four years before that, I was the Beauty & Digital Director at Body+Soul, which I loved - but it meant that we both had big jobs that demanded a lot of time/energy from us.

My partner is an incredible dad, and we split pretty much all of the parenting and domestic duties down the middle. I was emphatic about it being that way, even before we had kids. We have a 'divide and conquer' method, which works pretty well most of the time; he's solely responsible for some of the household chores and I for others, and we split the daycare pickup/drop off duties down the middle. Although I don't work Fridays and look after both kids, so that's one area of inequality - but (at the moment at least) this works for me because they're still little. On the weekends, we split the childcare and try to give the other person some 'time off' each to do things that make them happy - for me, that's usually a Pilates class or a catch-up with friends, or he might see some mates or go to the footy. The downside of this strategy, however is that we can sometimes forget to prioritise our time together as a couple - but I feel that most couples with young children and without an abundance of childcare struggle with that! We do 'date night' most weeks - which usually just means ordering something a bit fancy on UberEats, having a wine, and sitting at the table to talk. It's something we both look forward to - and although it's cheesy, it helps us to reconnect after a busy week.

Can you give us a basic rundown of your paid job?
Right now? I'm a freelance writer, podcaster, brand consultant and copywriter. I started my own creative agency - AIM Creative - because I wanted to spread my wings in terms of the type of work I could do - but it's all pretty new, so I'm still finding my daily/weekly rhythm. I used to run the editorial content plan and overarching social strategy for Body+Soul's website, as well as direct the beauty content across both print and digital, which was an incredible job - but also very demanding in terms of daily output and hourly deadlines. The flexibility I have now is like nothing I've experienced in my working life - I can see how people who work for themselves get addicted to this way of balancing work with life.

How old were Emilia and Xavier when you returned to work? What has helped with this transition?
After I had my first child, my daughter Emilia, I went back to work after five months, working three days a week in a job-shared role. The team was great, and the person I job shared with was incredible, but ultimately the job was much more than three days a week, and so I found myself working more full-time. When she was around 18 months old, I moved into my role at Body+Soul, and after I had my son Xavier, I went back to work after ten months in a 4-day-a-week capacity. I much preferred the latter experience - due to the fact that he wasn't as young, but also because I was returning to my job at Body+Soul, which I loved, and knew the roles really well. My employer also offered a 'return to work' program that meant I worked one day a week for ten weeks prior to my 'full return' date - which was such a great way to acclimatise to work, to ease my son into daycare and also to get me excited about rejoining the workforce/using my brain in that way again. I'd highly recommend any new mum suggesting something similar to their employer because it really helped me. Also, having flexibility and an element of trust from your boss really helps - as kids make it hard to adhere to strict 9-5 in office routines. But I also think being a mum makes you SO aware of how precious your time is - I'm much more productive at work after having kids. It gave me a laser focus for what's important and what's a waste of my time. I really don't sweat the small stuff anymore (because I honestly just don't have time to!).

Did you always envision you would be a working mother or pre-kids or did you think you would (if you could) stop work and take on a stay-at-home role?
To be honest, growing up, I was never sure if I'd even have kids - but when I (very happily!) fell pregnant, I knew I'd probably want to work in some capacity after having a baby. I'm lucky that my job has always closely aligned with my passions - beauty, wellness, fitness, and fashion - and I derive so much creative and intellectual stimulation from my work. I just never really visualised how the pieces would fit together... but does anyone, pre-kids?

What does your career mean to you – why do you work?
My work as a writer, an editor, a podcaster - and even before I went into digital publishing when I was a fashion editor (a long time ago!) - I never dreaded going to work. I'm grateful that I've managed to carve out a career in a creative industry filled with so many smart and kind women, and I'm still kind of bewildered that I get paid to do what I do. My job, as I said, is fuelled by my own interests - which is good and bad, as there's no division between work and downtime for me. This has an interesting and potentially unhealthy impact on my identity. But overall, I really love what I do and work hard at it, and I hope my kids see that and perhaps come to respect that one day.

How do you work – Take us through your schedule.
I'm working mostly at home. We've recently converted my son's nursery into a home office - which feels very luxurious after two years of working from the dining table during lockdown! I also am a fan of going to the local library for some alone time when I just need to get out of the house and not be distracted by that pile of dirty laundry that I could put on or a dishwasher that I could unpack. I'm lucky that Bondi has some great cafes, so I'm partial to a working breakfast after I drop off the kids. I try to work solidly during the hours my kids are in care - so 8am until around 5. My husband and I split pick-ups, and I try not to work at night unless the deadline is urgent. My brain/nerves are also usually a bit fried after doing dinner/bath/bed routine with two kids! I realise this is a pretty traditional schedule for someone who's a freelancer and who works mostly at home. Still, I'm really trying to be less on my phone/answering emails/distracted by work deadlines when my kids are around - which I definitely struggled with when I was working for a more traditional media brand.

How do you get into work mode?
Coffee! Is that clichéd to say? In the mornings, anyway. Otherwise, I'm a big fan of a to-do list. I write everything I'd like to get done, then number it in terms of most vital/impactful - which forces me to prioritise my time. As long as I tick off 4 or 5 big things, it's been a productive day. I can't work with music - as when I'm writing, I need to 'hear' what I'm saying. At home, I light a candle and have just started using the Pomodoro timing method - and have installed an app on my computer to keep me on track - it's working so far!

What method of childcare have you opted for?
We have a great long daycare that's incredibly close to our house that both kids go to, three days a week, and my wonderful mother-in-law looks after my youngest one day a week. My eldest goes to a nearby preschool on that day. And then I look after both on a Friday. I try to do fun activities or excursions with them, but sometimes I'm honestly just dragging them around Westfield. As I said above, we split daycare drop-offs + pick up militantly, and it allows us both two nights a week to either work a bit later if we need, to do something social or exercise. The kids know how the system works, and often the other person will come home in time for bedtime stories or a cuddle and a chat with the kids before they go to sleep. We don't have a huge network of support outside of each other, so we try to balance it as much as we can. Work is usually the one thing that throws out the balance, and prior to me going freelance, it was often me tipping the boat!

What do you outsource?
Ah! I wish my mum lived around the corner. My parents live in Mildura, in VIC, so we don't see them as often as I'd like. I try to keep a few 'easy' options in the freezer for my partner and me for dinner (I found that the frozen meals from Dietlicious - don't judge it by the name! - are the tastiest and healthiest that I've come across). I also do a weekly Woolies online order, and I'll batch prep some steamed veggies on Sunday so that mid-week dinners for the kids are just a case of cooking either salmon, 2-minute sizzle steaks, or pasta. Latina Fresh's kid's ravioli saves me on the reg! We have a magical cleaner who comes once a fortnight which is a godsend, and my partner outsources his work shirts to the local laundrette. I used to be a real meal-prep queen, pre-kids, and I think when my daughter goes to school next year I'm going to have to be a bit more organised in terms of lunch boxes, and doing more pre-made dinners so we don't rely on takeaway during busier weeks. My husband is an amazing cook, but he saves his skills for more extravagant culinary creations on the weekend. I'd prefer to eat out than cook - but if he's cooking, I'll happily be on clean-up duty.

What is your go-to morning routine to get you out the door?
In an ideal world, I'd wake up an hour before anyone in my house stirred, I'd meditate, work out, shower, and get dressed and be sipping a cup of coffee as my two-year-old starts to scream (his preferred method of greeting the day). Sadly, this is not me. I'm a sucker for a cuddle in bed with both kids as they come in to wake us, without fail, about 6am. My partner's usually up and showered and dressed while I'm still trying to wrangle them out of our bed and get myself dressed. To be fair, he'll usually finish their outfits while I dress myself and get ready. We try to get all four of us out the door by 7am sharp. Which, remarkably, usually happens. I guess we both keep the house pretty tidy, so everything's where it should be first thing in the morning, and the daycare bags are packed the night before. The kids’ clothes for daycare aren't fancy, and I don't try to dress them in cute outfits - function and whatever's clean/on top of the pile wins! My wardrobe has definitely become more streamlined, with lots of black, beige, white and grey marle, and I plan my day the night before - so I know what I need to wear. If I'm on top of things, I'll pack either my gym and/or work bag the night before, too, if I have a morning meeting. I always keep a 'fancy' pair of gold earrings in my handbag that I pop on in the car.

My beauty routine is everything I've found I need and nothing I don't, and through work, I've been fortunate to try some incredible skincare brands. In the morning, I just wash my face with water, then apply a Vitamin C serum from Mecca Cosmetica, then a hydrating day moisturiser Drunk Elephant's Polypeptide Cream, when I need some fortification, or Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow Pink Juice Moisturizer for something more lightweight, then SPF, either Ultraviolette Supreme Screen or the AB Lab Dewy-C Sunscreen Milk). While my skincare's 'settling' I do my hair - which is often just a quick brush and tuck behind the ears or pulled back with Disco Stick hair wax stick into a low, slick ponytail.

I love a skin tint, like Westman Atelier's Glow Drops. For something with more coverage IT Cosmetic's iconic CC cream, I do a dab of Rare Beauty's liquid blush (in Worth), the Victoria Beckham mascara and a clear brow gel like Anastasia's. I carry the Kosassport LipFuel Hyaluronic Lip Balm in Flow (the best colour!) in my bag, which doubles as a bit of contour/eye colour/lip stain/cheek flush. I rely heavily on semi-permanent beauty things to get me by - a lash tint, lash lift, brow tint, and weekly fake tan at home.

Also, when I wash my hair, I try to take the time to blow dry it and put a few bends in with a ghd - this will usually stay put until the next wash - which I stretch out to 4 or even 5 days. I used to have a fortnightly Shellac mani, but I'm now into a buffed natural nail that I think is kind of chic - but also lower maintenance. That way, I kind of just have to be washed and semi-well dressed, and I don't have to think about the rest of me.

In motherhood, what have you found most challenging? And any advice for those in the thick of it? 
I think the biggest thing is to cut yourself some slack. It doesn't mean you have to throw your standards out the window, but you might need to acknowledge that you're operating on a whole other level, with a whole level of extra responsibilities. That was hard for me at first, being someone who's very goal orientated, and I had to realise that what I was doing every day - even if it was just feeding and going for a walk and keeping the baby alive - was a big achievement. It was a hard adjustment at first. Also, I don't think that enough parents talk about how fun having kids is. Many people will tell you how hard it will be, how you'll never sleep again, how life changes irrevocably - but they don't say how funny and joy-giving having the experience is, too. I'm still so surprised, even when I'm tired and overwhelmed, by how much happiness kids inject into your everyday life. It's by far the best thing I've ever done.

Self-care and motherhood often don’t come hand-in-hand, but it is so important. What do you do to take a break? 
I so agree! It often feels like self-care is impossible for mums. For me, I'm happiest if I've moved my body in some way - so getting out for a run, going for a swim, or a Pilates class is my idea of self-care. I probably do this five times a week, purely for my mental health. Other than that, I'd organise a catch-up with some of my closest friends and order them to all leave their kids behind so we can actually hold an adult conversation. I'm lucky to have a brilliant inner circle and think that female friendship and social connection can really make you feel like yourself again - even after a rough week of parenting. Wine totally optional.

Connect with Alison –
@ali__izzo / aimcreativecontent.com

Want to know how others do it? Read more here.