"It's nice to just be Zara."
Zara Wong on identity, catnaps and her deep love of stretchy pants.
Zara Wong was a workaholic (her words) that was until she had her son, Freddie was born. Parental leave became the antidote she needed to shift her perspective to what truly matters. She was no longer the lead role in her own life, but rather leant into being mum – catnaps and all. One thing, however, didn’t sway. That is her impeccable sense of style. Sure, she’s not unscathed by motherhood. She does now wear Birkenstocks, but her eye for what makes a good outfit, great and her knack for siphoning through the internet for the best in fashion is why she has over 4000+ loyal subscribers to her newsletter Screenshot This and over 18k followers who frequently slide into her DMs with a fashion query. In fact, I have bought more than a few of the items she has recommended; The Marni Fussbett’s pictured above being just one of them. So apologies to your wallet for introducing you to #zarasedit but I promise if you take her advice, you’ll never look better.
Read on as we chat challenges, the noisy world of parenting, and how she manages to look polished all the time.
JF: How are you finding motherhood so far?
ZW: I wake up and I’m still almost a little surprised that I’m a mother! I’m getting used to it. I didn’t really prepare or read much when I was pregnant which seemed to surprise a lot of people — I think I usually like to be prepared. But I wanted to just do it day-by-day and see how it went. I didn’t know what to expect. I was told that you don’t sleep a lot, which obviously was the case in the first few weeks and was a jolt to the system. Honestly though, Frederick (Freddie) is a pretty chill baby and we just hang out together and I drag him to whatever I’m doing all the time.
JF: What are the ways in which motherhood has changed you?
ZW: I think I’m the same me, but more me. I’ve always done things quickly — talk quickly, work quickly. And now I’m even quicker, especially when he was only catnapping and I had 30 minutes to do laundry/tidy/cook/eat/life admin. I think it might be hard for my partner sometimes as I’m always ‘On’ and thinking about how I can be even faster and more efficient, so it definitely cuts both ways. I tried to implement a weekly meeting to speak about baby process, which he didn’t really want to do.
JF: Haha My son, Freddie (must be the name!), was a notorious catnapper too. It is amazing how much you can get down in such little time. What are you finding most challenging?
ZW: In the beginning when you’re trying to do the whole newborn thing and not acing it, I mean, who is, anyway? But I’m probably the type of person who likes to do things well. I know, I’m annoying like that. So I’d dive deep into research, trying various methods to get him to nap better (overnight sleep was not an issue but he only started doing scheduled naps longer than 30 minutes a few weeks ago, which is NORMAL) and also try to ‘nail’ breastfeeding.
A friend helpfully reminded me “baby sleep isn’t linear” and you might think you’ve got a bad day/week of naps, but next week will change. And on the other hand, a few days of good naps won’t necessarily continue, either! It is difficult when you get other people telling you to ‘just try harder’. The and from another friend, the best advice I received was just to give it time. Don’t force it. And sure enough, at the seven and a half month mark he just decided he wanted to nap on schedule for about an hour each time. That was a serious gamechanger. It sometimes happens for people earlier, sometimes it’s later – it all depends.
JF: It can be so hard to wrap your head around the fact that every day/night/feed/nap is different during those early days. That is so great you had a friend who offered actual helpful advice. Now, what are you finding the most delightful?
ZW: Most delightful: definitely this age (he is 10 months now) as he’s so much more fun, interactive, and really likes to play. You get more out of it. What everyone says is true; it’s getting better every week. Cheesy, but true.
JF: Oh definitely. When the smiles start and their personality starts to come out, the gritty parts suddenly feel less gristly. What has motherhood taught you about yourself?
ZW: I think many of us have a sneaking suspicion that we’re a little bit selfish and a little bit self-centred because we’re the protagonists in our own story, but motherhood basically proves that you can’t be like that because the child becomes the priority. Which is good for us!
It also makes you think back on what’s important to you, your values, your beliefs, and what you want to pass on - and what you don’t want to pass on!
JF: I think that’s it – we’re no longer the main character and we take on a more supportive role which is a challenge in itself but as you said, a bit of humbling may be good for us haha.
I wanted to move onto the topic of identity. I wondered how taking time away from your career felt for you. Recently wrote a piece for your newsletter, Screenshot this, titled, “You can’t self actualise through work.” As someone with a very impressive CV that extends from Vogue to MECCA and now you’ve just announced you will be starting at Australian designer label, Aje. I know I feared being "just a mum" – how did becoming Freddie's mum shift your identity?
ZW: I got so much feedback from that, I think — or hope — it resonated with many people. I was always “Zara from Vogue” or “Zara from MECCA” and now it’s nice to just be “Zara”, not even necessarily “Freddie’s mum” as corny as that sounds. Because being me is all those things above, and it doesn’t need an external signifier to explain that. I love working, I love my career, and I get a lot of satisfaction from it; there’s a sense of community and connection there. But as I say to my friends and what I wrote, I am/was a workaholic and parental leave is a bit like my rehab for that! I know some people struggle with being on parental leave for various reasons; I see friends or family almost everyday, and if I don’t I’m very happy just walking around with Freddie on my own. I have a very full interior life; I love consuming content whether it’s reading or listening to a podcast so I was also very happy being on my own too, and then working on my newsletter gave me a sense of structure outside of the baby as well.
JF: Zara full stop. I like that. As someone who spends a lot of time on the internet, how do you block out the noisy world of parenting and are there any sources or articles you have found particularly helpful?
ZW: To be honest I almost quite conscious avoid consuming too much ‘parenting’ content… but I do read Emily Oster’s Substack, and I do browse (but not comment) on Reddit parenting and baby forums because I find it interesting and refreshing to read personal, first-person accounts of similar challenges that other people might be facing. I found a lot of parenting content online either generic and vague, or too alarmist - and surprisingly you can sort out the wheat from the chaff quite easily on Reddit.
JF: Agree and I’m a big fan of Parenting Data too. You had a brilliant hack about reading your books to Freddie which is nothing short of genius and I genuinely don't know why I didn't do this with my Freddie when he was a bub. Any other simple parenting hacks you can share?
ZW: Gosh simple parenting hacks. I just try to make Freddie work in my life. I try to get him out everyday - I think he enjoys it as well, whether it’s for a walk or an outing. I found that if I got too used to being at home, it was so easy to just stay at home and feel the days pass on by, and he’d get frustrated too. At least getting out of the house gives the days of your life texture and friction. And also - that baby sleep is not linear. It may be challenging now, but it’ll be different again tomorrow, and the next day and the next day. And back to the advice earlier, sometimes there’s nothing you can do except to give it time. Freddie was not a great napper (all naps were 25 minutes or less) up until about seven months old, then it started to kick in and now he’s a great napper. I tried to do everything I could to get him to consolidate his naps before this, but as a friend told me at the time, there was nothing else I could really do but wait it out.
JF: Absolutely. Awareness of ‘time’ is so powerful. Knowing this too shall pass, and also that sometimes time with our kids passes so quickly.
It would be remiss of me not to throw in a fashion question. You’re known for your great sense of personal style and often answer hundreds of shopping DMs. Has your personal style evolved since becoming a mum?
ZW: I don’t think my style has evolved that much, but perhaps while on parental leave it has become more ‘laid back’ than usual. Though, I’m not really the sort of person to wear sneakers with track pants, so I’ll still try to keep it together; at home I’ll wear jeans or above-the-knee bike shorts with a cardigan or shirt. Oh wait, I'm wearing Birkenstocks now! They are such a ‘mum shoe’ but the rumours are true; they are comfortable, I don’t need to sit down to put them on (because obviously now I am holding a baby in my arms, a nappy bag and so on and so forth) and I can walk for hours in them comfortably. And I’m wearing more sneakers than before because of all the walking I’m doing. I was never really a heels person, but I would wear point toe flats – I haven’t worn them for a while since being on parental leave!
JF: I think a lot of us are sick to death of stretchy pants post Covid but comfort and functionality can take over some days. Can you give us a rundown of how you manage to get out-the-door looking polished with baby in tow?
ZW: I LOVE a stretchy pant and I’m passionate about it! The key is the fabric type and thickness; I have a pair from The Row and some from Zara and everything else in between. I’m fortunate to have worked in fashion so saw lots of styles of clothes and lots of trends and can zero in quite quickly in what I like.
Key pieces: at the moment vintage Levi’s, Zara/The Row leggings, a knitwear or a top. With the weather getting cooler you can just get away with a great coat – trenches are popular now for a reason because you can layer them since they’re not that heavy. There’s a great one from Aje – the Aje Altitude trench coat is so versatile it’s been brought back a couple of times, and I have a green one from By Malane Birger. Throwing that over a black skivvy (Cos or Country Road), or a T-shirt (Uniqlo or Cos) and jeans with sneakers, ballet flats or Birkenstocks is my fail-safe get-out-of-the-house outfit.
JF: And what about your beauty routine – your skin is divine. Spill your secrets.
ZW: Beauty; honestly the dream is to get your skin good enough so you can keep makeup to a minimum! I use the the Illuminating Brighten Your Day Crème (I am OBSESSED with the smell of the day cream, it perks me up), and then the Mecca Cosmetica Sun Serum which has SPF50+ as well as niacinamide. At night, I cleanse with the Emma Lewisham Illuminating Oil Cleanser as it’s great to take away any makeup you might have – I love how it just dissolves all the dirt. I also like the Kate Somerville cleanser, or the Drunk Elephant gel one. I also love toner, which isn’t very popular at the moment: my favourite toners at REN Ready Steady Glow, Rose Inc, or by Tammy Fender. Night creams I like Tatcha Dewy Skin Cream, Emma Lewisham Supernatural Face Crème Riche, Susanne Kauffman, the Kit Melatonin Night Balm (this one is really heavy) or the Ikkari Overnight Renewal Cream – I love this smell.
For foundation I wear Kosas Tinted Face Oil, NARS tinted moisturiser, Westman Atelier, Chanel Les Beiges and Ilia. I do like lightweight foundations if I do wear it at all. Concealers: NARS Creamy Concealer really is the best for good reason. I use Hourglass Mascara. I need to write a newsletter post about what makeup I use! I think blush is underrated: I have a Chanel Les Beiges, Westman Atelier and Mecca Cosmetica ones I use frequently. Eyeliner is NARS or Stila and highlighters (again, underrated) – I have so many, I love a highlighter and a bronzer too. If I was in a rush and needed to put the bare minimum, I’d put on a bit of eyeliner, use a bronzer or blush as an eyeshadow and mascara. It probably isn’t even noticeable but just makes me feel more pulled together.