Job satisfaction and parenting, Pamela, a podcast on why women cheat, a classic LBD and my holy grail hair mist.
A list of good things to read, listen to, wear and try because you just might like it too.
I’m trying something new this week and sharing some unsolicited recommendations – the things I’ve read or bought, tried, enjoyed and think you would too. No items in this list are gifted, but if you’re a brand and want me to try something, please email hello@deardilate.com for my consideration. If you like this very casual read then let me know and if you hate it, keep it to yourself ha (kidding, also feel free to let me know!).
READ –
How You Feel About Your Job affects How Well You Parent Your Kids By Elizabeth Chang, The Washington Post.
I’m writing a piece I have not quite finished yet (because, life) on the ‘working mother’ term and whether it’s term to retire it and I came across study, and while it may come as a surprise to no one that job satisfaction and stress and exhaustion etc etc is linked to how well we parent. This is a small study that followed 370 families from pregnancy with their first child to first grade. I do like how this puts the spotlight on both parents’ responsibility to raise children, not just the mother and I think more studies like this can be a step in the right direction to create actual change to support mothers. “Fathers can have as positive and as negative impacts on their kids’ developmental outcomes from their work. That's really important, because I think we make [work and parenting] a women's issue.” I do wonder the job satisfaction/dissatisfaction and good parenting link in homes with a parent who takes on the primary carer role by staying at home – because as we know being mum is the hardest job in the world and remains unpaid, and most of the labour, unseen – how satisfying can that be?
I Used To Judge People For Putting Mother In Their Social Media Bios. Then I Had Children By Lucy Foster, British Vogue.
An opinion piece on identity, how it’s married to our job title, and the loss of our sense of self in motherhood. Lucy confesses that prior to being somebody’s mum, some of us (including myself), think how sad it is to be ‘just’ a mum which is completely untrue. “It’s strange to realise how fragile identity is. As an adult, you think you know yourself, you think what you’ve become is resolute, unbending, but it can, in fact, be swept away in nothing more than the briefest of periods. What alarmed me the most about my identity implosion was just how intrinsic my title, my salary, my status at work was to my sense of self. How silly to think work could define you. But it did. And what followed: the grief of losing my old life – and shame that my new life with two beautiful, healthy children somehow felt substandard – took me years to process.”
Pamela Anderson’s Newsletter.
If like me you have been obsessed with all things Pamela and her Netlflix documentary, titled; Pamela, A Love Story simply wasn’t enough then perhaps a weekly love letter from the formidable blonde will help. Her tone is light and glass-half-full which I find both charming and (for the use of a better word) inspiring. She’s been through so much, and has done so with such grace. She weaves her poetry throughout her essays which I find so intriguing to imagine The Pamela Anderson sharing these soft, thoughtful words.
LISTEN –
She wants more by Jo Piazza.
Now this is a bit of a saucy recommendation but it’s oh so good. American journalist, Jo Piazza deep dives into female infidelity – why they cheat, how they cheat, and how it changes them after they cheat. I listened the first episode at the gym and it made me forget I was on the treadmill. It was insightful, honest, fascinating and sad at times. It delves into topics that are often seen as taboo like what happens when a female’s sex drive is higher than her male partner, the hard decision of whether to leave when there are kids involved, and one’s ability to have sex with no strings attached. I love anything that explores the complexity of humans and relationships, and this did not disappoint.
SHOP –
Pureology Color Fanatic Multi-Tasking Leave-In Spray.
This delightful mist is well-loved by the beauty crowd. It’s full of vitamins, minerals and pure magic. A leave-in conditioner/frizz tamer/heat protectant/split-end mender, and quiet frankly my hair has never looked and felt healthier. My hair is thick, prone to frizz and wild in summer so this has become a staple – I spritz after I wash my hair, before and after I swim and if my ends are looks a little dry. Try it and thank me later.
WISHLIST –
Harris Tapper Matilda Dress, The Undone Store.
This dress stopped me in my tracks, well, stopped me mid-scroll. Not only is it in my favourite colour but the style is timeless, the cut is perfection and I bet it looks incredible with almost any shoe. A hard want, as is the Lulu Top.
WILDCARD –
Slendier Edamame Bean Fettuccine.
I want to pretext by stating that there is no substitute for the sheer joy and deliciousness that a bowl of pasta brings but these really took my husband and I by surprise. In a bid to be a a touch healthier and the never-ending search for a quick and easy dinner, I tried these. I simply added cherry tomatoes, broccolini, olive oil, garlic, parmesan, salt/pepper and it was a pretty great midweek meal – and it took me only about 10 minutes to prepare.
Got any recommendations for the group? Comment below.