Recs: Why families fight, managing overstimulated kids, the wrong size bra & buying style.
Some Christmas-y, some just practical.
Is there anything more chaotic than the week before Christmas? Well, there is, and it’s the week before Christmas, the end of childcare, a sick mum (me), an unorganised mum (also me), and a four-year-old with a cold and an ear infection (Fred). However, this is an improvement from last year when daycare gifted us with gastro. Alas, the show must go on, and by show, I mean the clown show of trying to please everyone, do the groceries, book into the doctor, finish buying and then wrap presents in different paper because some are, of course, from Santa who gets all the glory. Still, it’s not about the accolades (we are above that, aren’t we? Ha.).
With all that said, I do love Christmas. I love how excited my son is. I love that the family gets together. I love the lights, the food, the wine, the decorations. I love putting thought and effort into the gifts I buy and don’t really care about what I receive (although I did order these sandals for myself and paid for same-day shipping so I could flog them off as a gift!). It’s total madness, but I truly wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now, I still feel uncomfortable about this but to continue Dear Dilate in 2024 and beyond, I now have a paid offering whereby you receive weekly emails from me – some recs, some What Mums Wear or long form interviews and essays. Here’s a special Christmas discount for you to shout yourself a last minute subscription or give another mum the gift of content that is from what I’ve been told, helpful and smart and funny.
Merry Christmas to you all – thank you for your ongoing support throughout 2023. I’ll be back next week with a What Mums Wear with my dear friend, shopping enabler and style confidant, who I can’t wait to share with you all.
Jade x
Ok, some recs …
READ –
Why Families Fight During Holidays
This was published in 2013 but it is still very much relevant today. It delves into why families, when they get together at times like Christmas, seem to argue or just annoy the shit out of each other. "When people who don’t usually spend time together are expected to engage with one another, magic doesn’t always happen." Light-hearted, insightful and accurate, plus a few tips to consider.It’s really no secret I am an avid reader of Back Row by
and last week, she questioned her community on whether they enjoyed getting dressed or not, and this piece includes extracts from the BR audience as well as the economics if women were to be compensated for the time they spent grooming "($52,416 US to be exact*), societal expectations, pleasure, discomfort, and the business of the getting dressed. “…Getting ready isn’t just a nuisance for many of us — it’s also big business. How many celebrities have we watched get ready on social media in order to sell us makeup or creams from their product lines? For these women, getting ready can be a windfall. Kim Kardashian has said she spends two hours doing her makeup every day. The products she is known for selling — Skims shapewear that goes under clothing; SKKN face wash, moisturizer, and the like — are for getting ready. It makes perfect sense for her and many other stars in the beauty and clothing business to talk up their getting-ready routines. And it makes perfect sense for Pamela Anderson, who has no such product lines, to fail to see the point in bothering.”What Does It Mean When Celebrity Style Can Be Bought?
I have commented on personal style before and how it seems increasingly difficult to pinpoint as most of the fashionable folk we follow are content creators and paid to wear certain brands or are chasing the attention of brands they’d like to work with or own the brand themselves, and celebrities are no different. This piece mainly talks of the Bottega campaign with Kendall & A$AP Rocky, floating around town, doing normy things but in head-to-toe Bottega. This begs the question; if famous faces (and bodies) are now walking billboards, who can consumers trust? “Manufacturing celebrity style to feed a capitalistic loop of press coverage and ad sales saps the spontaneity from fashion, not to mention the joy from celeb watching. Nowadays, it seems rarer and rarer to find stars with truly singular style. Whether or not we know much about them as people, we can admire their fashion sense and adopt it in our own wardrobes. Who, today, is taking up the mantle of Grace Jones, Chloë Sevigny, or Alexa Chung? Most contemporary celebrities seem happy to dress as they’re told, without any input from their own internal style radar. Where’s the fun in that—for them and for us?”
LISTEN –
Making Magical Holiday Memories, Janet Lansbury Unruffled.
Following my last newsletter about The Elf, one of our DD friends recommended this and I really got a lot out of Janet’s tips on reframing Santa Claus and how to hold some boundaries when it can seem impossible. Especially with lots of family gatherings, big emotions, late nights, overstimulation, and sugar everywhere.
WATCH –
Covering my pram?
Yes, I’m linking to a reel BUT hear me out. There has always been a debate about whether or not it is safe to cover your pram with a muslin wrap or if it’s dangerous now our planet is on fire. I saw this video from Tiny Hearts (a former paramedic who runs this business with her sister) on covering your pram in summer – and thought I’d share it because it’s such a simple hack to keep your bub cool if you’re out for a walk and they’re taking a snooze.
GIFTS TO YOURSELF –
On a practical note, I bought a new strapless bra and a t-shirt bra (I’m a 10C just fyi), but instead of just grabbing my usual size (that I have been my entire adult life), I decided to try on and ask for a fitting. DD Mum, Angelique had told me, “We should get fitted every 6-12 months because 8/10 of us are wearing the wrong size bra!” As it turns out, I am the majority and have been wearing the wrong size bra for what I can only assume to be as the past four years (at least). I have linked BUT strongly suggest going in-store and having a fitting.
This is also quite practical too. I bought this Logitech Casa Pop-up (this is the best price I could find!) because the keyboard on my laptop glitches (probably from the water I spilt on it) and I also need to be able to work from whatever flat surface is available to me. This stand not only holds your laptop but it includes a wireless trackpad and keyboard that folds away neatly like an iPad making it easy to transport or remove from the dinner table, and not to mention it’s also very chic for a non-Apple product.
I wrote about this silky set which I did indeed wear to a lunch at Mimi’s (definitely a rec for anyone in or travelling to Sydney). I purchased these heels (I got the silver but could only find the white online) from a local boutique which I don’t usually buy or wear heels but I liked that the chain added a some texture and felt the right amount of festive for me. They’d also look great with denim too!
Sorry about the hoof shot but the shoes which are on sale - take your usual size!
Disclaimer: I take my recommendations seriously and put forward the best of what I have read, bought, tried and loved, and I may make a small commission from links.