Not to mention the prohibitive costs of IVF for couples with fertility issues.
The Australian Multiple Birth Association recently campaigned for an increase in government paid maternity/paternity leave for parents of multiples and the comments on the ABC articles about it were so enlightening ... or rather, eye-opening. So many comments saying “if you can’t afford them don’t have them” or “I should’nt have to pay for your kids with my tax money”. So yeah, I think you’re right -- as a society we see the responsibility of care as that of the nuclear family, not the extended community and nation.
Yes, fertility is an another layer of cost: financial, physical and physiological and deserves an entire essay or series dedicated to this.
Comments like that are so ignorant. Yeah everyone is entitled to their opinions but the entire purpose of a community is taking care of one another, and that community extends beyond our immediate families, friendship circles and neighbours and this has been lost over the years. Most mothers go back to work and suffer the juggle that is raising children and paid employment.
I think the statement that children are a luxury item is coming from a western perspective of what is necessary to raise a child, and a level of privilege. Granted, cost of living and other services and goods have increased but there are many people around the world who live on a lot less than the people who make this statement and they would not view having a child as a luxury. Just that people make choices and compromises to facilitate costs for for the family. I do agree with the points made in the article, it’s just the statement that comes off as obnoxiously western in its frame of reference.
Completely agree. And this essay is only really the top layer of this topic. And in the western world this isn’t anything new. Social media has us thinking to raise kids they need all of those beige toys, the organic ones that cost more than your weekly grocery shop, not the “toxic” ones.
Tina Fey wrote an article for NY Magazine years ago and I can’t remember verbatim but she was saying how large families in NY were such a symbol of wealth, like a look at me I can not only afford a big apartment but I can afford 4 kids.
I often wonder if we can go back to the essentials.
Thanks so much for commenting Grace. You definitely got me thinking!
You said all the things I’ve been thinking about in motherhood and raising kids in America. It’s very much a western world thought but it’s also a reality of a divide we have here in raising families. Even without having beige toys and an IG aesthetic family, it’s still hard and so so expensive for so many families who work hard, live on low income, or even in middle class. I know many of them personally. I say this with much economic privilege and I see the disparity.
Yes, absolutely, it is a Western Culture thought and it has been circulating for a long time in the media but even the bare minimum is expensive – there is still budgeting and financial sacrifices involved (unless you are part of the 1%). Like the 'American Dream', there's also the 'Australian Dream' of owning a house, having a family etc – and a lot of people have already given up on both.
Thanks for the thought provocation Jade! Comments such as 'Kids are a luxury item' truly sadden me and in my opinion point to a failed western culture where as a society we don't place enough value on motherhood and family life. I don't disagree that having a family, and a large one at that, has financial implications, particularly in today's economic conditions. But I take issue with phrases like this being thrown around frivolously because I think it denigrates what it means to have a child, and become a parent. It is not and should not be a right of only the rich. It is a human right as you so rightly point out, and if we continue to allow people to think of children as a luxury item and a responsibility of the nuclear family only, then we will never flourish as a society. I'm quite passionate about this topic and write about it frequently. Loved reading this article of yours.
We raise kids like individuals now and it simply can not work – it's an every man for themselves way of life. We've lost our villages.
Having a family is expensive and when you lay it all out there, I can see how it can scary to even consider taking the plunge. The label is definitely a Western Culture concept and when I first read it also made me initially think it's really devaluing the importance and hardship of care-taking, like it's so easy, we should all consider ourselves lucky to work double shifts with zero payment or benefits, and thus contributing the 'the perfect mother' ideology of loving every moment without.
Thanks Paige and I'm looking forward to reading your essays!
Not to mention the prohibitive costs of IVF for couples with fertility issues.
The Australian Multiple Birth Association recently campaigned for an increase in government paid maternity/paternity leave for parents of multiples and the comments on the ABC articles about it were so enlightening ... or rather, eye-opening. So many comments saying “if you can’t afford them don’t have them” or “I should’nt have to pay for your kids with my tax money”. So yeah, I think you’re right -- as a society we see the responsibility of care as that of the nuclear family, not the extended community and nation.
Thanks for an insightful read!
Yes, fertility is an another layer of cost: financial, physical and physiological and deserves an entire essay or series dedicated to this.
Comments like that are so ignorant. Yeah everyone is entitled to their opinions but the entire purpose of a community is taking care of one another, and that community extends beyond our immediate families, friendship circles and neighbours and this has been lost over the years. Most mothers go back to work and suffer the juggle that is raising children and paid employment.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Nat.
I think the statement that children are a luxury item is coming from a western perspective of what is necessary to raise a child, and a level of privilege. Granted, cost of living and other services and goods have increased but there are many people around the world who live on a lot less than the people who make this statement and they would not view having a child as a luxury. Just that people make choices and compromises to facilitate costs for for the family. I do agree with the points made in the article, it’s just the statement that comes off as obnoxiously western in its frame of reference.
Completely agree. And this essay is only really the top layer of this topic. And in the western world this isn’t anything new. Social media has us thinking to raise kids they need all of those beige toys, the organic ones that cost more than your weekly grocery shop, not the “toxic” ones.
Tina Fey wrote an article for NY Magazine years ago and I can’t remember verbatim but she was saying how large families in NY were such a symbol of wealth, like a look at me I can not only afford a big apartment but I can afford 4 kids.
I often wonder if we can go back to the essentials.
Thanks so much for commenting Grace. You definitely got me thinking!
You said all the things I’ve been thinking about in motherhood and raising kids in America. It’s very much a western world thought but it’s also a reality of a divide we have here in raising families. Even without having beige toys and an IG aesthetic family, it’s still hard and so so expensive for so many families who work hard, live on low income, or even in middle class. I know many of them personally. I say this with much economic privilege and I see the disparity.
Yes, absolutely, it is a Western Culture thought and it has been circulating for a long time in the media but even the bare minimum is expensive – there is still budgeting and financial sacrifices involved (unless you are part of the 1%). Like the 'American Dream', there's also the 'Australian Dream' of owning a house, having a family etc – and a lot of people have already given up on both.
Thanks for the thought provocation Jade! Comments such as 'Kids are a luxury item' truly sadden me and in my opinion point to a failed western culture where as a society we don't place enough value on motherhood and family life. I don't disagree that having a family, and a large one at that, has financial implications, particularly in today's economic conditions. But I take issue with phrases like this being thrown around frivolously because I think it denigrates what it means to have a child, and become a parent. It is not and should not be a right of only the rich. It is a human right as you so rightly point out, and if we continue to allow people to think of children as a luxury item and a responsibility of the nuclear family only, then we will never flourish as a society. I'm quite passionate about this topic and write about it frequently. Loved reading this article of yours.
We raise kids like individuals now and it simply can not work – it's an every man for themselves way of life. We've lost our villages.
Having a family is expensive and when you lay it all out there, I can see how it can scary to even consider taking the plunge. The label is definitely a Western Culture concept and when I first read it also made me initially think it's really devaluing the importance and hardship of care-taking, like it's so easy, we should all consider ourselves lucky to work double shifts with zero payment or benefits, and thus contributing the 'the perfect mother' ideology of loving every moment without.
Thanks Paige and I'm looking forward to reading your essays!