Recs: Rest is hard, $150 Gab Waller approved earrings, RHONY, tradwives, silk scrunchies, & fun fashion girlies.

What I read, watched and shopped while on forced rest.

I’m sharing some unsolicited recommendations – the things I’ve read or bought, tried, enjoyed and think you would too. Disclaimer: I take my recommendations seriously, and I may make a small commission from links and some items may be gifted, but if they are shit, they won’t make the list.

Recovery pack.

This week I had surgery on my (very) deviated septum. No, truly. And not from having too much fun either… a defect I have had all my life that has progressively gotten worse over the years. One nostril was completely blocked, my sleep was poor and my headaches were frequent so I had the surgery. I am now in recovery mode which requires me to sleep sitting up, breathing only out of my mouth, flushing my nose 3 times a day, massaging arnica cream into my very swollen and bruised under-eye and cheek area. Stunning. All while resisting the urge to blow my very blocked and dripping schnoz.

I’m still chief bottom wiper and smoothie maker but I’m trying to rest as much as possible. Doctors orders. But rest is hard. I feel guilty for leaning on my husband and my mum (although I didn’t hate her popping in and doing my washing!). I think it’s a cocktail of mum guilt and toxic self-care culture that have Jade-rollered all over what true rest is – which is, to me, doing nothing, or doing as little as possible and sleeping as much as possible. It is not optimising ourselves which is exactly what I was initially set out to do before I reminded myself that this is the first holiday (a 24 hour stint in hospital ha!) I’ve had in 4 years. So I turned on Real Housewives, drowned out the guilt with a string of fashion TikToks and screen shot a bunch of things I bought and read and am now obviously sharing with you all.

READ –

Adult Friendships & kids.

This is a long and poignant article that dissects friendships after motherhood. In particular. Writer Allison P. Davis, shares a series of antidotes from wanting to be child-free, battles with fertility and being last friends to have kids. Looking at the inevitable shift of relationships during those early years of motherhood and how it feels to be on the outer. Though we insist nothing will change, it does for a while, and most won’t endure the ups and downs or distance but lots will and you pick up right where you left off. “It’s just that “it has changed everything,” she says of her friends becoming parents, in the same deadpan tone as a sitcom character breaking the fourth wall after a record scratch. “More than marriage, more than a new job, more than moving across the country, I think there is nothing that represents more of a challenge or a threat to adult friendships than parenthood. It is the only thing that is permanent and time-bound. It has fundamentally shifted my relationships.” In my experience there needs to be a mutual respect for one to want to share their lives and acknowledging the stage they are in – be it drowning in a milky haze, a career high or a lull in our love lives – we have to be willing to include, to share and listen… even if we find the topic of choice to be dull.

#TradWife Life as Self-Annihilation

Image from original feature on elle.com

If there’s one thing you commit to reading, make it this. Anne Helen Peterson writes one of my favourite Substacks,

Culture Study

. Here she explains why the #tradwife trend on social media is both appealing and terrifying, and like most of her pieces, it has left me going back and forth with my thoughts. In this case, what is innocent content and creativity in an otherwise simple life or intentional content that has a greater and possibly more sinister purpose. “Now, do the people in these buckets have different motivations and politics and understandings of why they’re on the internet — and, for that matter, the “correct” place of women in society? For sure. I bet most of the women generating stay-at-home girlfriend content are on board with the argument that “feminism means the freedom for people to do what they want,” whereas the biblical femininity women see feminism as the unequivocal handiwork of the devil. These differences do matter…” Read, ruminate and hit me up in the comments.

WATCH –

Real Housewives Of New York.

Yes, I’m late to the party and I’ve never truly been a housewives fan but I binged the season 14 of Real Housewives Of New York over this past week (and loved every second of it). I obviously wanted to see what Jenna Lyons was really like, and I thoroughly enjoyed delving a little deeper into her character, and why on earth she would be on Real Housewives?! Aside from being filthy rich, I found them all to be quite endearing, and funny, yet lonely?

EXPLORE –

Clothes are friends.

I think I’m too old to start to Tiktok (am I?!) BUT I nonetheless I enjoy watching which does sound creepy when I say that out loud. I found @clothesarefriends via

Jess Graves

who writes The Love List and I am obsessed with her edits. She is a fashion girlie with a great taste and an even greater sense of humour. She pokes fun at herself (yes, love me some self-awareness), sips flat rosé while unboxing Chanel loafers and wears items on repeat. Here’s her Instagram too if you prefer not to stay up until 2am watching her videos (don’t say I didn’t warn you!).

Linoya Friedman - What People Are Wearing.

This is such a feel good account that showcases street style at it’s finest. To me there is nothing quite as inspiring as street style – true street style where a person gets dressed not to create content but purely to express themselves. I’m sure there may be a chance these days someone will take your photo a random especially outside of NYFW but I love to hear others describe the pieces they are wearing which is usually a mix of high and low, old and new pieces. All styled in such a way that is truly personal to each individual. Again, here’s the Instagram for us millennials.

Courtney Grow.

Most of you may have already heard of or follow

Courtney

Grow. Her thing is always having one ‘ugly’ or unexpected item that shouldn’t work but it does, as well as not liking anything that is too popular – which I quite like. She has a knack for cheap Amazon finds, no shame when it comes to sharing a dupe (we can’t all wear head-to-toe Khaite but we can dream), and is a self-confessed “aggressive consumer'“. Another influencer that isn’t beige and who has FUN – her husband often does the voiceovers. This one is hilarious!

ADD TO CART –

Heaven Mayhem Earrings.

Courtney is a great segway into these earrings as she first introduced me to the Heaven Mayhem brand through her extensive jewellery collection. But it was Gab Waller’s Vogue Column, The Hot List that made me add to cart immediately for fear they would sell out. I went with these as I just liked the vintage style but I also love these and these.

Silk Scrunchies.

I wear silk scrunchies everyday. Either in my hair or on my wrist and when I saw Saint store’s full and luscious silk scrunchies I had to have them. Some may say it’s indulgent but it feels essential to me. An easy way add elegance and texture to any outfit – including your Lululemons.

Leigh x Gimme Store Frankie Gold Rectangle Bangle.

Just a gal, her self-timer and her lovely Frankie bangle.

Full disclosure this was #gifted but I requested this particular piece as I knew I would wear it and also all proceeds from the sale of this bangle will be donated to Epilepsy Action Australia. I haven’t taken it off (except to go to hospital!) and I feel it’s great quality for the price point. I don’t tend to wear a lot of jewellery but I threw it on my bare wrist (see above) to lift add a touch of something but most days I style it with my smart watch look more like an accessory and less “better get in those 10K steps”. (P.S. can’t wait for my curtains to be installed over the next week or so… it’s been a journey!).

Sporty but elevated.

Got any recommendations? Or need help shopping? Leave a comment or email me: hello@deardilate.com