Recs: Thoughts on ageing, motherhood as a trend(?), my glowy skin routine, who I look to for fashion inspo, and what I bought and love.
What I think, listened to, slapped on my face and wore lately.
I’m sharing some unsolicited recommendations – the things I’ve read or bought, tried, enjoyed and think you would too. Disclaimer: I take my recommendations seriously, and I may make a small commission from links and some items may be gifted, but if they are shit, they won’t make the list.
I have resisted writing a Black Friday edit as I do believe we should only buy what we need – on sale or not. So, even if there are lots of delicious things that are now practically free please shop mindfully. It is, however, a good time to syphon through your wish lists for the quality items (it’s the Airwrap for me) that may now be within your budget. If you want style advice, or simply in need of friends who share the same enthusiasm as you do for fashion, join the DD group chat where we discuss what we’re buying, as well as solving mum challenges like switching careers, why our kids don’t sleep and how we can avoid Elf On The Shelf for another year.
Now, writing this weekly has been a challenge that I am failing at but I do want to focus on improving (I think my brain cells are still frolicking around Fiji). Like most parents, time alone to think and plan and write and find the darn LTK links is sparse so I thought I’d try this and share my commentary on things I have seen, read, listened to, worn, and tried.
CAN SOCIAL MEDIA TURN EVERYTHING INTO A TREND… INCLUDING MOTHERHOOD?
I went for my, I’d like to say daily but let’s call it a bi-weekly sanity walk, and came across The Culture Club Pod by Australian writers, Maggie Zhou and Jasmine Wallis. In their latest episode they touch on the topic of TikTok making motherhood seem on trend because all apparently all the chic women and bloggers are now having children. While I do cringe at the thought of motherhood being considered trendy, glamorous, something that can be so easily acquired, I have written about the idea of kids becoming a luxury item so this does not feel so far off. So I do understand it may look that way to women in their 20s who have not been privy to the often messy behind the scenes. Pair the fashion-forward mothers on TikTok with the Mum necklace by Phoebe Philo that sold out in 15 minutes flat and I guess, well yeah it does start to seem cool to be somebody’s mum. I have also touched on the issue of appearing to “make magic of the mundane” then photographing it and sharing it with the world as it casts a Paris filter over motherhood in its entirety and all of the invisible domestic labour that goes with it. Further diluting the challenges and the real need for better support, better policies and equality in the home.
THOUGHTS ON AGEING AND MY SKIN GLOW-UP.
Speaking of the Phoebe Philo campaign, Grace O’Neill, newly appointed Editor of Elle Australia and co-host of one of my favourite podcasts, After Work Drinks (scratches the itch for an old High-Low devotee), pointed out that the women Philo showcased were 40+ and that in her opinion, she is changing the perception of what it means to be middle aged. Essentially from drab to chic and aspirational, and I do tend to agree. It may be because I am closer to 40 than I am 30 but the women I admire their style and perspective most are women who for well into their forties, fifties and even sixties. If I am to be completely transparent about my inner thoughts about getting older then I will admit to both embracing it and feeling uncomfortable about it. Mentally, I feel I have gained much more self-confidence, and live free from the judgment of others, realising that life is short, to hold the ones you love close, and to head in the direction of joy. BUT. I am quite vain. Ha. I do not enjoy the visible signs of ageing and can see my face starting to fall. I indulge in botox around my eyes, and the last couple of times I have also had a small amount in my lower face to relax the dao muscles and to ‘lift’ – this in itself has been a game changer. I don’t want to look younger, genetically I just do and so does my mother who has had no injectables, ever but has always had great skincare and facials.
I want to preserve and take care of my skin and my health though so I am mindful of what I consume and the products I use. I was still suffering from breakouts (still in my 30s!) so I bought Zilch (I think it was Emily Algar who had recommended these as she too has temperamental skin), and this helped to stop hormonal flare-ups. Another thing I did that was a simple was to switch out my toothpaste to a more natural one after I read something about a link between chin breakouts and the type of toothpaste you use (note: not an expert, perhaps consult your dentist first!). I have worked on and off with a naturopath as my gut is not great so I take a probiotic everyday and through the process of elimination I try to limit my triggers so I do steer clear of foods that are inflammatory and wreak havoc on my hormones but I do cave regularly when a cheese platter presents itself. In terms of skincare, I have trialled a very active and prescriptive skincare which at first helped a lot but in the end it damaged my skin barrier (a lot of people do have success with this brand, I just didn’t). I then used only this face oil to repair before using any actives again which I am still weary of.
I currently use a delicious rose cleansing balm by Alpha-H which was kindly gifted to me. I’d never really used a balm before but it does easily remove makeup and sunscreen while leaving my skin soft and hydrated. I then use an Environ gel cleanser, and mostly DMK products that have been prescribed by my facialist that focus on brightening the skin and keeping my pigmentation at bay. When my skin needs a little more moisture, I use the Go-To Much Plumper Skin Serum which was also gifted along with other products but that was the one I would buy again and that I drenched my skin with in Fiji. I have just started using Azelaic Acid which I just picked up from the pharmacy for under $30 and it has basically given my skin the glow-up it so desperately needed. It has smoothed the texture, and evened the tone. I see it as a solid and inexpensive alternative to retinol or tretinoin. This was recommend by Dr Prasanthi, GP & Cosmetic Doctor/the founder of soon-to-be launched skincare brand L’Orient and who I see and DM all of my skin queries to. LED at-home masks are also worth it in my opinion if you can use it consistently. I got lazy for a while but have put it back into my routine and notice a huge difference in radiance and clarity. I use this one and unfortunately the most effective ones are pricey but an investment your 40 year old self will thank you for (this one is on sale and good too!).
As far as makeup goes, I always start with sunscreen and my favourite at the moment has to be this one from Ultra Violette. Then if I have some dark spots or bags to cover I reach for the magic that is the skin corrector stick in light peach. Dr P also recommended that I do add a tint on top to help with my melasma so I then layer the Gucci Westman Drops in III (use sparingly!), mixed with these Bright Drops. I’m still using the Kosas concealer and Air Brow (which has thickened my brows!) and a little cream bronzer. I use this one in Sand. If I feel too shiny I just dust on the Laura Mercier Translucent powder (in my opinion, nothing compares). I do also enjoy a lash lift and brow lamination from time to time which I did before my holiday and helped my look somewhat polished even when I was sans makeup.
“SHOP MY EDIT” – EVERYONE.
And yet, we all still have nothing to wear.
I think all of the click here to shop links can be overwhelming. There’s an edit for almost everything and it seems FOMO is at an all-time high. I am pairing back what I link to and from now on will only really share what I do actually wear rather than creating edits with items I have not tried myself. There are very few people I take style advice and recommendations from. One being my dear friend Philly who I text often and who either talks me into or talks me out of purchases. Two is
Founder of Dorsey and who shares what she wears regularly. Her chat threads are also full of recommendations from women who just know. Lately, I have shared a few DMs with Megan and I love her perspective on personal style and the need for sharing real fashion. What people are wearing day-to-day, all day and not just for the sake of a mirror selfie. Which lately it feels as though we are more focused on what will look good for the Gram rather than what we love, will wear and that will last. I think this topic needs an entire newsletter dedicated to it but for now I’ll move onto a couple of others including, Kate Bond, Founder of luxury nightwear brand Bond St (who is on What Mums Wear is week!), aka the Sales Fairy who has a talent for finding champagne items for a beer price. (read her interview here), has great personal style and a fine tuned fashion eye (read: knows about the history, the details, the fabrics, the quality etc). by Courtney Grow is another I adore and find her style to be joyous and interesting as well as who is a mother and stylist and shares real and wearable looks. And last but not least our DD group chat where everyone is completely honest with their reviews on everything from the most wanted Deiji set (get it because it will sell out), to BFF bras for bigger busts (still unfortunately unfound).SOME NICE THINGS I HAVE BOUGHT AND LOVE AND WEAR ON REPEAT.
I have recommended this dress before and I will continue to recommend it until the end of time. It is the perfect black sundress made from 100% cotton, and the cut is just perfect. Pair with a sandal and wear all summer long. I did also buy this triangle bikini top and matching bottoms, and purchased a (faux but beautiful) Tennis necklace which happens to be 40% off at the moment.
I did buy a coastal grandma-esque 100% linen dress that caused two women to chase me down the street to ask where I bought it from. Though I am trying to minimise shopping at fast fashion stores, I think Zara does great linen and if you can get a quality fabric that is 100% wool or silk or cotton or linen then it will stand the test of time.
I’d love to know what you think of this format of blending my thoughts with my recs? And of course any other feedback is always welcome.
Jade x
Got any recommendations? Or need help shopping? Leave a comment or email me: hello@deardilate.com